Wednesday, June 30

Like I'm never coming back again ...

Today, as I was walking my way out of college alone with silence surrounding me, hearing only my footsteps on the ground, carrying my laptop bag like I'm never coming back again, and knowing my destination: to the door out; all of these just mixed up my emotions and lead to this strange feeling I had. I felt like I'm leaving something behind, leaving all the memories there, where actually at this moment every memory seemed so far away, so beautiful, but like I never had it before.
Even though it's not my last year at college, but I just felt that I'm done, I'm leaving, I'm to start a new phase, and a part of my life isn't to be there again. I can't say whether I was happy or sad, but I felt strong. I felt like being in a movie when the heroine is taking major decisions in her life and walking towards them. Even though at those moments I hadn't plans in mind towards my future, I even hadn't yet decided what I'll be doing the next hour. But that's how I felt.

It's only a year of my life that has passed away and never coming back. It's gone with all the goods and bads it had, all the memories it carried, all the joy and all the sufferings. And a new year is just to start again with new events, and new memories to be. But, I don't think it would ever carry new feelings, not because I've gone through all, but because I don't feel anything NEW is to happen to me.
However, I'm so ready to go through this new coming year, even if it's just repeating last year, because I'll do my best and try to set it right this time, do every thing I did before, but in the right way. For me, it's just another try to set what's set right.

I can't figure out what made me get all these feelings, except that peaceful walk I had with myself, but I'm glad that I had them all.


"I'm Freeeeeeee to do whatever I need to do"


This is what Freedom means to me: To be able to do exactly whatever YOU like to do at whatever time YOU would like, without any restrictions, without any objections, without any fear or responsibility of any kind.

- Freedom is not worth having if it doesn't include the freedom to make mistakes.

This kind of freedom can never be available! :(

Sunday, June 27

My First everything ..... !!

OK, here we go :)) My First Blog, First Post ... hope it's not the last isA.
I've been postponing this step for a while, then I thought till when will I postpone the step that I see as my first step to be Me, just Me.... So, I just took the step courageously -it's Now or Never- and began to write my First.... !

For the first time of my whole life -well, I'm only 20 years, so I actually don't have such a big life :)- But, it's my first time that I find out about a passion that I do have...and it's "writing" - as I claim. That feeling where you are actually free to say what you want to say, without getting the fear of being not heard, or getting a rejection or criticism, just getting out all that you feel about. I'm actually passionate about Words, words that have a meaning. I love having conversations with people, even strangers, about some quote that I like, and start getting out every meaning out of it.So, I admitted my passion keeping it in mind, but with no plans of taking any steps to actually start practising my passion.

Even though it's actually a very simple and common passion among people, I never wrote anything before, except the stories I used to write in my English class at school.
And suddenly, out of nowhere, I found out about this Blogger ... And, I figured it out..I'll start writing..I've plenty of things to talk about, all these feelings I always bother my mind with, I'll just lay them on to this blog. And I set my account - here's a good step.

Then came my fears, that always push me back from doing anything good.
ONLINE POSTS!!? Normal people have a notebook, a diary, where they secretly write down their feelings and keep it to themselves. AND, I've to be PROFESSIONAL to write -here comes my name that I chose "Perfectionist", I just can't do anything unless it's perfect, and nothing is perfect !! "Okay, I'll take classes on how to improve my writing skills, then start" !!!

But then, I just couldn't wait....I'm highly emotional, I love expressing myself, I'm fed up talking to myself, and I have plenty of things to talk about. And about my fears, I'll get over them by time, and isA I'll improve my writing .. :))

So, Let's see...And wait for my next, I'm keeping it up isA :))

Thanks for reading :)