Tuesday, May 24


Yesterday, I took my car and kept driving. I drove into places I've never been to before. I wanted to do something reckless, have a new experience, know more places and just drive aimlessly. And I did, I kept driving into the most unexpected areas never expecting what to find. Till I reached a dead-end; I no longer then could move forward or even backward, and it was too narrow to make a turn. I gave up. I couldn't think of a way out, except me getting out of the car thinking if I can actually leave it behind and go. I stopped the car, stepped outside, locked it and moved away. A passer by stopped me and said "Are you leaving it here, like this?" and I replied like "Do I have any other options?"
I left, I walked around the place unknowing where to go, I got myself some chocolate, I stood there in the middle of the streets staring at every thing around without having a single thought inside my head. Till I found myself heading back to my car, just to find that my way out has even got more blocked. But I thought to myself, with a smile on, shouldn't I take my car home? Then I must get out of here. I asked about that car that was blocking my way. They told me that the man driving this car is the doctor living in that building, I asked them to kindly go and ask him if he can move his car. They did, he moved it away, and I got out. Though it was hard getting out of that too narrow street in backward steps, but I got out. I was finally free again. I drove safely ever after till I reached home. I had enough of adventures of the day.

Now, isn't that life? You get yourself stuck in places where you can no longer move a step forward. And then you've got to take a moment to think of a way out, as there's always a way out. You can give up on figuring out the way. You can step out, thinking by that you're actually leaving your problems behind. You can go and move around aimless thinking by that you'll find another path to walk. You can take as much time as you can, you can waste your whole life figuring out your way. But you'll keep on going back to that same place where you got stuck. And one day or another, you'll have to have the guts to get yourself out. And only then, you can continue moving on with your life. Time won't stop or wait for you, you waste a part of your life getting out of blocked dead-ends. So hurry up, find the way. For your life can't wait any longer. Actually, it won't wait; it's you who has to catch up with it.

Friday, May 20


He came to mess our lives up and down, change them and rearrange them. He came to spot a light on what should be right. He came to tell us how to dream high, look up to the sky and say the moon is meant to be ours. All he had was something in his smile, his words and voice. He also had a brain that thinks in all the things of life. He taught us one thing, in together we should be, for together we will be. And so we were together in the dream to be. We all shared one dream. Till we got confused, whose dream it was? We were gathered upon one thing, it was his love, loving to please him and never letting him down. Sometimes we had to fight for who dreams to achieve more, sometimes we were hurt by just holding the dream. But every time we got confused, he reminded us of the lesson. Together we can do something no one has ever done. So we did things together, we got the best memories to hold together. And we knew then if we'd ever find ourselves alone, then we'd be in that together too.

But then he left. Shall we then be shattered, or has he succeeded in putting us together forever?

Wednesday, May 11

Couldn't find a name

I'm over the moon.. For I think I got it all.
I'm over the moon.. But earth keeps calling.
It doesn't seem right, and not wrong too.
Is it Perfect?!?!

I tell things that when others know they abandon their minds' peace.
Then should I be proud or should I doubt?
Is it the truth being told in the face? A hard reality to embrace?
Or is it just a talk being told to hurt and damage?
Then do I inspire? or make a bonfire?

They say it's obvious. I say it's normal.
As a matter of fact it's a state of mind.
Once set right, nothing can cause a fight.
And I got the insight that gave me peace of mind.
So, nothing worries me, nothing else matters.

But then comes you, and I feel like it's mine.
For I saw it coming and I said I won't let it grow.
And I acted with a good intention helping you know.
Have I succeeded, I couldn't say? Have I been trying enough, maybe no?
I think it all came by itself. Maybe I had no hand in that show.
But I swear I had no plans in mind, just a loving vow.

Have I taken someone else's place? Who said it's his place at all?
Were I playing games, trying to be smart but failed? Or have I made it through?
But no, I said I had no plans. Is it normal to play plain, can it even hold any gain?
So, I'll have faith. I'm all good as all good can attain.

To know me better, you have to always keep the letter.
Be nice and always break the ice. But don't surprise.
Very odd, very strange. Actually too complex to compromise.

You're thinking what is this all about. But I figured no name out.
And I have no idea why I tend to rhythm every word I write.
Though they don't but I needed to keep a sound.
This isn't a poem, so don't bother.
Or even a feeling to be stated out loud.
It's me putting words together
to find a meaning that was never found.
And I still keep the rhythm.

Have you enjoyed? I kinda feel you'll say No!
Did you get it? Definitely ..  I know!
But it's okay, I'll stay on the way
And maybe it's a way ready to be in play.

Thank you for putting up with me!
And sincerely, don't judge me! =)

Tuesday, May 10

Trick or Treat

On a night so cold,
I felt alone; missing or maybe missed.
Getting ready to weep like a kid,
as I got nothing in my head.

There came a word, that took my breath bit by bit.
I thought of every possible meaning it hid.
But I got the courage to respond,
though all the thoughts that lit.

It started fine though I didn't get it right.
Then another word opened my heart wide.
Strange as I felt, I got all that from inside,
to let it out smoothly, happily and with no other side.

It was a minute I've been waiting for so long in time
to flow all the words I kept for a moment that is mine.
And the part that captivated my mind
was the part where my words were listened and admired.

Then at the peak of all that rush
something was about to make me hush.
As I expected what to be stated next
but didn't expect how it could be fixed.

I stopped to listen, I paused to understand.
I got it all, but time was short to make a land.
And I was impressed at the trust I set and got.
Only then that I understood

I'll have a new friend, a friend I'll never hurt,
a friend where strength I'll give, and strength I'll find,
a friend who I'll long for and wish the best,
and a friend who'll see the friend in me.

Still time didn't hold all that I sought,
Things I missed to say and things I haven't caught.
And I thought I've got an unlimited vote,
But I'll never lose the hope.

The hope of the friend I'm waiting for.

But while the wait
I get thoughts that I hate.
Thoughts that, if proven, will hold the knife
that kills my heart's life.

And I think, Is it all a trick? Or a treat for me?

Is it a too smart or a too kind act
to grab me in through tact?
Just to show me the thoughts I didn't let in,
and tell me how it will go on then.

Or still, nice it is as I felt when I got that trend
of having you as my dearest friend?

So I'll kill the thoughts that kill,
and relive the hope that live.
And I'll find a way to make you my tent
and prove you I'm indeed a friend!

Monday, May 2

Restless heart

When there's this urge to write but words are not found.
It's like the words refuse to be let out.
Or is it my heart that has captivated my tongue and mind.
Maybe because it's confused with those too many emotions around.
And maybe it's my mind that has taken all the words left out.
To try to understand the barrier that has been built inside.

But I try as I might.
And I find some guide.
To what's behind my heart and mind.
And here I'll start.
You said you'll shine like you always do. And you did shine my life too. You gave me the light I love to live in. The shine was so strong that my eyes blinked at first, but then came the smile that never left. Suddenly you shined away. You didn't stay for long, you shined out taking the lights away from me. This time it hurt because you gave me the happiness that I couldn't enjoy for long. But then comes... 
Are you back there? There to where I can't find you. And I think I should get you back here. But I have to find you first. It's like you run away! And I think, is it something I did? Or did I have already used up my turns? Thinking like that hurts, both you and I. It's a fact you're there, and it feels like my duty to get you here. But it's also a fact that you don't let me in and I can't find you if you kept running. I blame myself for how weak I try, but actually I'm killing myself just by thinking of how much I should try. And then a step like saying 'Hi' seems like the gun that aims up high, at me! 
The lie I'm living! I admit that I don't! I just do because I promised I would! Then you come and tell me how much you did and how much you'll do. You're too sweet I couldn't repel. And only then I figure that I missed. But you weren't what was worrying me, or what was confusing me. You weren't in me!
Is it because we're not connected? Is it because of the uneasiness I feel when I get to talk? But you're too sweet to be true. I can't believe you're already there. It's your sweetness that keeps me attached. If ever you got sour you should be aware that I'll never try to re-attach. That's why it's a lie.
You're supposed to be my best friend. We have this unique kind of blend. But recently I don't feel the harmony of our minds. I'm finding you acting like you don't know me at all. Or you do, but you just don't do it right. Maybe because I know that you know me the best then I expect you do what I expect you to do, but you don't. And I feel like we're detaching in every way. It isn't like any of that I used to say.
And it hurts as much as it does to think you're not trying enough, or that you can't feel the detachment that I feel. I don't believe you're not thinking that something is wrong, and that's why I'm waiting you come back strong. Strange as it may be, but I miss you my best self! :) Yes, that's how I describe you, please be back to this same description, I can't nor that I want to find a replacement!
Me. I disappoint me! But then comes hope that tells me: be patient and wait, for I promise I'll keep my faith. My faith in me that I can be who I want to be. My faith in my heart for how strong it stands against all that breaks me. And my faith in my mind that it will work right when the moment is tight. But I still can't trust me on the promise I made to myself! And I simply don't trust me for the many times that I disappointed me. It's a kind of a loop that has to be broken with a decision of trust that I should make to myself! So I'll decide to give myself one last chance to prove me wrong. Or I won't be able to forgive myself any next.
Isn't it enough? Or is there more.

Because this moment shall pass in a blink of an eye like any other moment.
And my heart's state will turn as the clock ticks.
Then will come other emotions to confuse my heart,
or another block to complete the barrier.
Maybe someone will come to break the walls and fix the links inside,
or maybe my heart and mind will cooperate to defeat all enemies.

And it will all go well and perfectly fine.
The light will shine back to let me breathe,
or maybe I'll understand that the light is not necessary for me to breathe.
I'll manage to get you back here, or maybe you'll come all by yourself.
And the sweetness might turn even sweeter and fill my life with all the happiness I wish for,
or maybe it would suddenly turn sour and I give up.
And finally I think the harmony will soon be back too quickly, for the beats won't sound right if they beat differently.

That's life and that's how it keeps my heart restless. Thank God it is, for if it hasn't, that would have meant that I died. And I'm still alive! =)