Wednesday, February 23

A shouldn't be!

·         Please go away. I don't want you anymore around. You're just an extra load to me. I don't want to hold on to you anymore.
·         And as long as you'll stay, as long as I'll think I might need you, but I know very well that I don't. Then please leave.
·         Please do me a favor and make it easy on me to let you go.
·         I'm scared, terrified and afraid. Those three words have the same meaning; still I needed to say the three of them. And I'm in a deep need to shed some tears.
·         There's something wrong going on with me. And I hate it when I can't figure out what is it.
·         It's like there's something missing, something incomplete or something lost. Something isn't in its right place. Things that are there but I don't want them to be there, and things that I dream of but they end when I wake up.
·         Funny it gets when the easy way out is the most difficult way for you.
·         Funny it is too when doing the right thing seems to be the easiest thing to do.
·         Is it true or is it weird that risky stuff to do, things you've got to fight for to get it, aren't always the right things to do?  Is it true or is it weird that things that aren't your nature are things that you shouldn't do?
·         I mean, is it "what's worth the fight is worth the prize." Or "what's worth the prize is worth the fight."?
·         I woke up early to work. But I ended up watching a movie and crying! Thank God I cried, I needed that so much and thanks to the movie that triggered it! Strange that a movie named "Volcano" triggered tears in my eyes, strong and long ones like these.
·         I have to be in the streets in half an hour, which means I only have got half an hour to get ready, instead I'm here writing this.
·         Well, I just don't believe you anymore, I don't trust you maybe. And it's something I that I can't help nor work on. You ask me to believe and trust you, and I ask myself the same, it's just that myself can't listen to you or to me and I have nothing else to do to let myself listens to you. Maybe the link has been cut off for good. Maybe there's no way in to myself anymore. Then maybe the best is to let yourself away from myself.
·         Do you think I should work more on myself? Actually I don't want to, don't push me please.
·         Ever since I knew this quote: "Wherever you go, go with all your heart." And it became my motto. Since then, I decided to be honest with my heart before my mind.
·         Yes, I believe so much in my heart that I giving it the lead over my brain.
·         Note: It depends on you, you should figure out for yourself who do you believe in more, your heart or your mind. As for me, I figured out that my heart thinks better than my mind!
·         It's very irritating when you feel that your own feelings are unfamiliar to you or to others. When others have different feelings than those of yours although you both might have been through the same.
·         Enough for now, I feel better. Thanks that you listened! I think I've got to get back to work. I've got to focus.
·         One last thing, I miss my ability to free my mind. The ability to stay for minutes thinking about nothing, and just nothing!
·         No, I'm not feeling better! I'm carrying a heavy heart. But it's time to let go, the show must carry on!

1 comment:

Menna said...

Salmaaa .. ana begaad bastmte33 ba7ess en kol kelmaa ba3odd a2oollll "ee daa I've been there abl kedaaa" .. w sometimes ya salma we fight for things that are not destined for us ! .. soo We need to let things go sometimes :) .. And i agree more with "What's worth the prize is worth the Fight" (Y) :) .. Salmaaa it's soo relieving en entyy to3odyy tekteby kol 7gaa kedaaa .. I wish lw ana knt b3raaf atala3 elly gowayaa :D ..
Ana ra3'ayaa awyyyyy :D :D <3 <3