Swing

It used to be our game. When others try to remember us they should remember our swing. You were the one who introduced it to me. Although you sometimes wish you didn't play it, you always did. Sometimes you said you couldn't help it, you played it naturally even when you didn't recognize it. And I didn't know it was the swing we were playing, but I took a vow to play your game whatever it was. When you went up, I happily went with you. And when you came down, I sadly came back with you never knowing that we would reach the up world again. Sometimes I resisted the backward step never knowing that it was necessary for the swing to keep on swinging and going forward again. So you moved back and forth and I followed you sadly and happily.




Until I got sick and dizzy and didn't know how to tell you to stop. Only then that I understood it was the swing we were playing. And as much as I loved playing the swing with you as much as I was sick and couldn't play anymore. I tried to ask you to play other games, maybe the game where we keep moving through a maze never knowing how to come back, or that game where we jump into holes and open doors trying to search for the things we always search for. But you never listened, never you understood or even saw the possibility of the existence of the other games. And I was very sick and dizzy, you even didn't notice, well I didn't let you.

That was when I had decided, the next moment we were down I was jumping off the swing. I might have hit my head, but it wouldn't have been as badly as it could have been if we were up. And I did, I jumped off. And you kept swinging. When you reached the up side, you searched for me and you looked down to see me standing there. You came back to ask me to ride again. Here I said no, but I couldn't explain how much I was sick. I couldn't even explain how badly I wanted you to stop this game. I kept trying to let you notice the other games but you couldn't see them too. And you kept swinging. But no one swings alone, so you got bored up there and you too decided to jump off that silly swing. You were confused, you couldn't figure out what has happened. And I was still feeling dizzy and unable to think straight. You kept pushing me to the swing and I kept running away from you unable to explain that it was the swing that I was running away from. 


Now we are standing there on the grass keeping a distance. I'm watching others playing games that I can't understand nor recognize and I'm thinking of playing with them. I don't want to leave you there alone, but I can't ask you to play with them either. You know, I miss playing with you, I enjoyed it a lot and actually I have never found it odd or silly, that swing. But I don't know how or why did it make me feel sick and since then I can't think of playing it again. That's why I can't trust playing with you anymore, for I know the swing is your favorite game and you'll keep pushing me to play it again and again. Now, I want to play other games, different games, maybe alone, maybe with others. And maybe one day I would find that same swing, our swing, and I would still find you there playing and I'd come to play again with you. And we'd swing together this time, not as we did before where you moved and I moved after you. Till then, I wish you play happily and I wish I find the happy games I'm searching for. 


See you in another game. :)