Monday, March 28

Back to the future

One day I was sitting in the garden alone enjoying my time, listening to music and watching people as they walk and talk. Then out of no where I got distracted by a girl who came to sit beside me and kept looking at me as if she's waiting for me to speak with her. She was a very beautiful, pure and innocent young girl; somehow her look reminded me of myself many years ago. So I asked how she is and tried to start a conversation.

Me: How do you do?

Girl: I'm fine, what about you?

Me: I'm great too, thank God.

[A short pause]

Girl: What is that? [Pointing at my laptop]

Me: That's my net-book. Do you know what a net-book is?

Girl: Yes I do! [Hesitantly she said that!]

Me: Great, it's my mini mini computer.

Girl: A computer, yes. :) That's very small indeed! Sorry, but it's my first time to see such a thing. 

Me: Oh, that's why then! :) Take it, have a look.

[She just looked at it for a while trying to discover without touching it.]

Girl: What are you doing on it, right now?

Me: Reading a book and listening to music.

Girl: Oh, that's very cool. You are a student? How old are you?

Me: I'm 21, just last February, and yes I'm still a student at my senior year at college.

Girl: That feels nice. :):)

Me: How nice, you think? And how old are you too?

Girl: I'm 13, last February too.

Me: Oh, how great, and how young!

Girl: And what college are you at?

Me: Faculty of Engineering, Computer department.

Girl [looking kind of puzzled]: Is it good?

Me: pretty much yes. But sometimes I feel that it doesn't fit.

[She took some time trying to understand my last statement that was said in a pretty low voice.]

Me: And what grade are you at now?

Girl: Third preparatory.

Me [puzzled]: Shouldn't you be at a lower grade now according to your age?

Girl: Really? I don't know, my parents tell me that somehow I skipped a year.

Me: That's cool. The same happened with me too. This will always make you feel younger and that's a nice feeling.

Girl: Great then.

[Then came a somehow long silence. We both started watching the few people with us in the same garden talking or walking together. And I was starting to feel uncomfortable with her presence, she was too wired for a stranger in her age to talk with me like this, I just wished she stands up, says bye and leave.]

Me [breaking the silence]: Where's your mother?

Girl: Oh, hmm, she's somewhere over there. But never mind about her, do you have a car? I think you should.

Me: Ohh, what a question! Yes I do, I have a lovely little blue car, it's as I've always dreamed.

Girl:  :) Yes I can tell.
Tell me about your friends.

Me: My friends? Well, tell you the truth, they are not so many, but I have a few who are really close to me and I just love hanging out with them.

Girl: yeah, that's good.

Girl: Back to your college, what grades do you get every year? I bet you always get an A.

Me: Oh no, not at all. You're so positive. I just do my best so as not to fail!

Girl [sadly she said]: Really?? How is that?

Me: Well, college isn't as I thought it would be, it's much more harder, or I don't know maybe I have changed and maybe this is not anywhere I fit to be at. If I knew it back then, I would have chosen something else.

Girl [very astonished]: Really? Good that you told me this. And what would you have chosen?

Me: How good, I don't understand you.

Girl [looking kind of disappointed]: Never mind what I say. [And she looked the other way!]

Me: You're a little wired, you know! What are you doing here in the garden anyway, don't you have any friends?

Girl: Nothing I'm just hanging around and no I have no friends here.

[I got nothing to say, but I didn't want her to leave anymore. I needed to understand who this girl is!]

Me: So tell me, what's your dream job? When you get older, what would you like to be?

Girl: An Engineer I guess, as my Dad is. But now after listening to what you have said, I don't know I got confused!

Me:  Oh no, I'm sorry I did that to you. I didn't mean it. Don't let my talk about my study disturb you. If you really love to study engineering in order to become an engineer then you have to do so. Besides engineering is really amazing, I truly love it so much; it's just me who didn't know how to make her way right through it. And also don't you worry, you still have many years to think and decide about this. But here's one advice you should know, don't you ever choose unless you're completely sure it's what your heart desires, and once you take a choice do your best to be the best where you are because in the end that's only what matters.

Girl [smiling widely like she's happy by what she has just heard]: I like how you sound, thank you for your advice, I'll need it!

Me: You're welcome sweetie. :)

Girl: you didn't tell me, what else would you have chosen other than engineering?

Me: It's just that I should have studied all the other options I've been opened to when the time to choose was there. At a point I should have listened to my mother. And at another I should have listened to the voices within me!

Girl: hmm, then I'll make sure I make this when it comes to my choice.

Me: yes sure you will! :)

Girl: Can I just ask you a silly but a very important question?

Me: yes off course, go ahead.

Girl: Are you happy? Satisfied with your life?

Me: hmm, well yes I'm happy. My life is kind of great and I have and I do everything I want to. But I'm not 100% satisfied, not even close. But honestly I think nobody is, and nobody will ever be.

Girl: yeah, I kind of agree with you. Anyways I wish you happiness.

Me: that's sweet. Thank you honey, I wish you happiness too. :)

Girl: Now I have to go, it has been really nice talking and meeting you.

Me: So soon? I loved our little chat. But wait a minute, you didn't tell me your name.

Girl: Can I tell you something before I leave? [She ignored my question!]

Me: yes please do.

Girl: Your look and style is so nice, kind of like how I thought it would be. You're just a little clumsier than how I wanted.

Me [angry]: WHAT is that? "Like how you thought"? Do you know me in any kind of ways?!!!!

Girl: My name is Salma and I'm the 13 years old YOU. I'm wondering, frustrated actually, how you couldn't recognize me!

[I was in a state of shock, unable to speak!]

Girl: Now what? I saw this coming. Don't worry I'm just from your imagination and I'm leaving now. You'll just wake up from this daydream and find out that everything is great.

Me [trying to understand]: I think I understand now why…

Girl [Now she stood up facing me]: let me tell you my advices to you just before I leave. Be on a diet and lose some weight I think we'll be much prettier. You seem to know more what our dream really is, find it and go for it. Don't regret a thing, because I think I'm happy and all your past years are happy too. I'm proud of you as I think you made it. You truly did, just keep on going. And please you deserve to be much happier, do what's right and amaze yourself. For once in our life, please be satisfied! :) I'll be around, all your past years including me; we'll be supporting you and watching you while you make your way through.
Be happy. Goodbye.

The girl walked away and I kept watching her as she leaves till she faded away. And I stayed in that shock state for a while till I finally figured it out, wore a huge smile on my face, jumped up and packed all my things, ran directly to my car and I just knew what I have got to do. Thanks to my 13 years old me!

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