Yesterday it was raining. Yes, it was hailing. Here where I live. And I thank God for that rain that lasted for less than an hour, as I sensed. I'm really am grateful for the rain, specially at those moments. For those moments where the memorable ones.
It was raining and everyone prayed. Some prayed that they pass the exams, some prayed for a better life, some prayed for a deep buried wish to be fulfilled, and some prayed for this Ummah to raise up once again and those are who I praise. But still this is not what I'm pointing to.
And everyone wrote about the rain, how wonderful it is and how happy they are hearing the sounds of thunder, catching the flash of lightening and enjoying the coldness of water drops on their hands.
Some wrote about the memories they got watching this rain drops. As you can see rainy days are that rare that a rainy day is a memorable one. Some wrote about how their lives have changed from that previous rainy day, how they manged to cope with grief and how they managed to appreciate the peace. Some wrote about the lessons that rain could give us; that learning how to dance in the rain is what makes you enjoy the bright sun that comes after. And they wrote about why some loved the rain, and others didn't. But they all wrote about what that rain meant to them. And I would have never thought of writing about the rain but for those moments I had to live that day.
Because during the rain, I wasn't praying for the things I usually pray for. I hadn't had the chance to watch the rain, the hail or the ice. I didn't catch any lightening flashes or heard any terrifying thunders. I had my own thunders inside me echoing saying: "What should I exactly do right now? How would I deal? Could it really be somewhere near the end? and if yes, then please God, don't let it be today. I know he's not ready yet." That was my only prayer, if he's going, then please God forgive him, if he's staying, then help me do the right thing to save him. And I thank God for listening to my prayers, he's saved. I thank God I knew exactly what he needed. I thank God, he gave us a warning and a reminder to see how death is close. I thank God for reminding us of how we love and care about each other.
Those moments will stay deep in my memory. I might have lost him.
As for him, I would like to say: "Yes, it might have been your last. You might have left leaving us with no help. So, please don't you do this again to me. Seeing you dying like this once again will be heartbreaking and it will leave me with the question why didn't I stop you from the beginning. All I want to know is that you'll be safe. And when you go, please go only when you're ready. And don't make me worried about you."
This time I didn't enjoy the rain, I enjoyed the rainbow. The rain, to me, was when the hardest times are, and after each rain there's a rainbow that this time I managed to see. Alhamdul-Allah :)